Im at strip club and am horny
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The uberlube is also flammable
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
