I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
