Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
