I've blown a few things in my day
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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