is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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