I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
