he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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