i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
