butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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