If i come over, it means nothing
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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