guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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