we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
