Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
