I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
