am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How external is "for external use only"?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
