I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize