I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize