and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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