Don't you send me to vm
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
