i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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