i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
