Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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