Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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