Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
