think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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