I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
