I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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