I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
