her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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