Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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