she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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