Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
