omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Sacagawea was the original milf.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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