So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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