What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
