she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We are all done wearing pants today
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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