Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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