you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This house was built for laser tag.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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