Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
