She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
