New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
