well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize