i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
