She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
