Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My dick has a subreddit
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
