After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
