If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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