She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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