I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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