yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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