I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
