That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
