guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize