your thong is hanging out like whoa
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
