Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
