You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
