not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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