So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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