Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
