$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
