I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
