This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
