i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
