Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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